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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24509200">Solving</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnight_cowboy/pseuds/midnight_cowboy'>midnight_cowboy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(but also... ~what~ character. it's free real estate so far), Angst, Canon Related, Character Death, Gen, Infected Characters, Infection, Out of Character, Self-Sacrifice, Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:55:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24509200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnight_cowboy/pseuds/midnight_cowboy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>[RQG155 spoiler]</p><p>Wilde: "...No, no, until blue veins appear as well, in which case Zolf kills me, that's the agreement. [If he gets blue veins], well, that's what Barnes is for, [and if he is too] – Carter. [...] Well, Carter <i>solves himself</i>".</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Solving</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaronetCoins">BaronetCoins</a> and, partially, The Red String Brigade are to blame.<br/>and me, of course, with my criminal brain. :')<br/>(jk love you all)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Infection is: insidious; dangerous; treacherous; risky.</p><p>Howard could be all these things, but right now, he reflects sadly, there’s one more thing that he didn’t excel at while the infection roams in his mind: very, <em> very </em> sneaky. </p><p>It’s like waking up one day, looking at things as if through a veil of a somewhat lucid dream, and then realising: ah. It’s too late. </p><p>You know, there could have been a possibility of anxiously threading through every single thing Howard did, trying to find ways of warning his team, battling to the last breath… but everyone else doing these things failed so far.</p><p>So instead of resisting, saying helpless ‘no’s and ‘it can’t be like this’s, Howard Carter lets himself give in and drift atop his own consciousness. The Infection is <em> hungry </em>, desperate for control of every single motion of his body, and so, bit by bit, the many-and-one are now wearing a perfect mask.</p><p>Carter dresses up, smiles with too many teeth into the mirror, and then goes out to find his… associates, his own mind trailing behind.</p><p>Knife in his hand is there as a precaution, easy, precise and useful. Not as <em> beautiful </em> as the unity that could be offered, but, <em> ah </em>, sometimes it couldn’t be helped.</p><p>His body comes downstairs. His face makes itself into a new mask, of someone cheerful and a bit annoying. His legs move him towards the people gathered around the table with notes, his mouth stretching itself into a new, a bit less suspicious smile.</p><p>His hand with a knife moves so-- His hand. His.</p><p><em> Howard </em> moves so that the knife is flipped in his hand with a trained ease, and plunges it into himself before his body can move even closer to the people he cares for. </p><p>Infection is insidious, dangerous, risky, all the other things – but Howard Carter is incredibly happy he could be all of them to hurt it back.</p><p>He barely can discern the panic of the voices outside and <em> inside </em> his head, and before anyone can help him Howard yelps out a “No, don’t come any closer!” while he falls on the floor. He’s giggling like a madman through rising blood through his throat and the chorale of an angry, disappointed hivemind is crushing his head inside out. </p><p>There are blue veins clearly visible on one of his arms, and he holds it up as an explanation for others.</p><p>Tricking an apocalypse monster; how many people can be proud of that?</p><p>“I love you people”, Howard says without a waver, sliding down with his back to the wall, and is proud of it, “I love you and we were a good team, even with me in it”.</p><p>He hears a hitched breath and a struggle of someone trying to come closer while being held, but no words spoken aloud. Through the thinning out whispers in his head Howard tries to figure out if it’s Barnes or Zolf, only to feel awe when he recognises the curses finally being spat as<em> Wilde’s</em>. A little laugh of ‘aw, he <em> cared’ </em> rings in his head. He wants to say so many, <em> many </em> things, to cheer them up or to annoy them to not worry so much, to thank the three people he has gone through hell and back, to stop Hamid’s panic, ask Azu not to rush into danger, because he needs time in the afterlife to come up with ways to annoy her, to tell Cel… oh well.</p><p>“See you years after you save the world!” he says, as loudly and brightly and<em> hopeful </em>as he can, tugging his mouth into a smile, even knowing in reality it’s probably barely a whisper and a dying grimace. Howard hopes it won’t be in vain, at least.</p><p>Dying feels like everything for an instant – and then like nothing at all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm also on <a href="https://rinnannon.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/rinnannon">twitter</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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